Remembering Mom, on the day of her passing ... it's five years today. On the one hand, that seems like a lifetime; on the other, it seems like yesterday. So I spent some time going over the few photos I have of her, when she was young; working them though the software to fix them and colourize them. This year, let me celebrate her life, not her passing, with images of the young girl with every possibility before her.
In the scene on Lake Windermere (or Ullswater, perhaps Coniston, am not absolutely sure, but I think it's Windermere), she's about 26; in the portrait shot, she's about 17. I wish I'd known her, as a young woman. I try to remember the woman she was, when I was very young, and not to dwell too much on her last years, which were not great.
Mike, Dave and I did everything we possibly could to make her time good, but there's only so much you can do. I ask myself constantly, what could I have done better? Yes, I made mistakes: I see them now, though I didn't see them at the time. But, none of them were dire mistakes, with far-reaching consequences. So, could I have made a difference, if I'd done something better? Dave and Mike say no. I ... wonder.
I miss her still; I always will. If anyone is interested to meet this amazing woman through the lens of biography, I told her story here: https://jen-downes-writes.blogspot.com/2021/12/biography-my-mothers-life.html
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