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Saturday, February 13, 2021

Friday, February 12, 2021

Happy Birthday, Your Majesty ... Now we are Seven!

 

It's been a big year in the life of our resident royalty. Life's an adventure, full of explorations, and naps, and guarding the citadel, and naps, and stalking the jungle trails, and (did I mention?) naps. It all began twelve months ago, with a van in the street and a knock at the door...

Ooooh! You got me a new mattress! Wonderful! Uh, where are you going to sleep?

But of course, there's much more to life than merely taking one's leisure...

All manner of exotic creatures inhabit the jungle. Lizzie (the plaster lizard) doesn't say much...

And of course, in one's forest fastness, one enjoys intellectual pursuits...

...also dessert. Chocolate bunnies swiftly succumb to laser eyes!

But one does like to help around the house occasionally; and let's be honest, these humans can't be trusted to make beds by themselves. Leaving them to do it without supervision? Unthinkable! So --


And since we're in the mood for a little housework, let's give the peasants a hand with the vacuum cleaning...


...helping with the vacuuming is only fair, after all, when one's feline duty, recorded in a charter back in the days of Ramses II, is to shed on everything, allathe time...


And of course, chairs belong to royalty. All of them. 24/7-365 --

It's MY chair. MINE, y'understand? Now buzz off, lemme take naps!

All that sleeping charges the batteries, awakens the spirit of Lion, of Tiger, of Panther, in the breast of the feline. A stretch, a yawn, and it's time to explore, to stalk those jungle trails. Good thing the jungle begins right outside the backdoor!

On the trackless ways, in search of adventure --

Never forget ... Tiger is an ambush predator. Channelling Tiger...


Deep in the jungle, at the watering hole --

-- and if adventure should be just too hard to find, well, bark was made for rolling in!

A puddytat's adventures lead to the roof, and the neighbour's roof, (though they've ruined it with acres of solar panels: kitties don't like it so much lately), and occasionally into alien territory: the front garden, when strange creatures pass by, but seldom stop. It's important to patrol there, and be vigilant:


Always vigilance. Take notes, kids: this is how you guard the citadel!

Ah, so nice to return from the wilds. Glad to be home from the war...

Home from the wars, and -- hey, what's this? How long's this been here? You say it's been here since before I was born? Can't have been! I never saw it before -- what is it?


Its good to be home from the wars, yeah? Nothing beats being in the big, warm cave, safe in the bosom of one's family and taking one's ease...



...even if, occasionally the humans do something unspeakable. They put you in the carry case, and you take a short ride to the Puddytat Repair Shop, where they check your teeth, take your temperature, stick something sharp in the back of your neck, and pronounce you good to go for another year of adventures ... I mean, what's that about


Best to humour the pink monkeys, make nice and pretend the yearly physical's no biggie. We're cool. we're all cool here, man. Like, groovy. Yeah. And then just show them how kewl you are -- not to mention how divinely beautiful. Pose among the flowers ... what a good idea!


And if you're really good (or good at pretending to be good), Christmas comes early. Took you seven years to get the old cat tree shredded to purrrrfection, and what do they do? They chuck it in the bin, and this happens! Then again ... 

This is neat! It must be Christmas! Yay!

Actually, this was Christmas!

And this year, we managed to get through the whole holiday season without demolishing the entire tree, though a pretty good job was done on the lower branches. (For some reasons the humans get into a snit when the tree keels over. Why would they do that?!) This is altogether too much work. Time for naps, I believe...

So many places to nap, so little time! Anything happen when I was asleep? Hey --

-- it rained! The pavers are wet ... that's diabolical. Harrumph.  

Yes, they're not all sunny days ... but the rainy ones make the sunny ones all the brighter, and after the heat of summer, what's a few drops of water? A good shower, and the garden -- excuse me, the jungle -- blooms! Tiger is in her natural habitat...





And that's the life of the Queen of the Jungle, for another year! Easy. Nothing to it. You just look cute, take naps, let the humans think they're in charge, and ... cruise. Yeaaaaah.


And that's all, folks!


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