Don’t Look Back ― You’re Not Going That Way

Don’t Look Back ― You’re Not Going That Way. That’s a Viking proverb, and I would have to say, they “nailed it” right there. One of the first chaplets I posted, quite a while ago, was entitled “Making a Sharp Right Turn,” in reference to the fact that every direction Dave, Mike and I thought we had mapped as our route into the future just changed. We were headed for a semi-prosperous retirement where we were both adventurous and cozy, and it was going to be grand.

Now, Dave has cut back to two shifts per week, and as of this moment, we’re starting to rejig the budget for ― well, everything. A few months ago, we thought there would be funding for whatever we wanted to do. Now? Need to think about the shopping list. Good, innit? This is the first taste of “the oncoming storm” that will actually break like a rainy day that doesn’t know when to quit. We’re won’t be destitute (at least, I don’t think so…), but we must be careful.

The old Mitsubishi Magna that’s getting daggy due to sun damage was due to be replaced soon with a new EV. Well, good old “Lola,” the Magna, will have to go for as long as she’ll go. If she looks shabby, just stop and listen to the snarl of what’s under the hood. She’s the proverbial bat out of hell. She just doesn’t look like it. (Who does?) Sigh.

So we’re trying to look forward, more than the two paltry years the specialists offered. We’re looking way beyond that, and we’re 99% sure we have good reason to. Many people asked to be kept posted about how the acupuncture went ―

And the good news there is that it went sublimely well. It WORKED. Dave walked out of there with more strength in his neck and upper body, a clearer voice, and higher energy levels. And all this lasted at 100% for several days, until a hard ride up a steep hill blew off the whipped cream. His hill ride yesterday left his voice more muffled, though ― to be fair ― today he still feels fantastic, his own word … and the second acupuncture session is tomorrow.

So yes, we’re more confident to look forward, trying to devise plans that take into account the MND, a tighter budget, and the somewhat foreshortened timeframe we might (I say might) have to work to. It’ll take some planning. Many things Dave and I used to love to do together either have stopped or will. Sigh. Again. So…

Find new things. I’m not sure what they’ll be, but I’m certain we’ll find them. In point of fact, we need to START LIVING AGAIN. We’ve both had enough of being a yoyo on a string, bounced around by four specialists, a charity, and the bloody NDIS. (It feels like they own my life, and I’d be shocked if Dave felt differently.) It’s time to draw the line and say, “Enough!! Get out of my face, let me get on with the business of living!!”

And speaking of the NDIS, we’ve come to understand why people utterly despise this National Disability Insurance Scheme. It’s the only safety net you have left these days, and government first funded it, then left it to administrate itself. Smart move. Like that was going to work! End result: you have a hodgepodge, baroque system that doesn’t handshake properly with anything or anyone else … which you discover on the day you apply for their future support (against a time you’ll want a customized electric wheelchair costing as much as a new car. Ye gods).

You send /show them your driver’s license, the lease to your home, and your Permanent Resident Visa, as awarded by government. These are your ID documents, showing who you are, where you live, your right to be here. Every single document is rejected. They’re inarticulate as to why a Driver’s License is no good, but … there you are. They can’t read the scribbled signature on the lease ― no matter that it was issued on a formal company masthead. Your Visa pre-dates the current system, so it doesn’t carry a lot of numbers. It’s a letter from Immigration, welcoming you to the permanent community, while the visa itself is electronic, attached to your passport, good enough for government, police, Immigration, Taxation, Centrelink … but not the NDIS.

At this point, I’ve no clue what they want, therefore I’ve no idea what help, if any, there will ever be for us in future. It’s actually conceivable that we’re on our own, though one doesn’t like to dwell on that. It’s a bridge to cross when we get there, if we ever do. (Take a pill, Jen … chill. It’ll work out in the long run. Maybe. One hopes.)

So ― don’t look back at the things we used to share, plan, and dream. Look forward and find new things to share, plan, dream. We’re not going back, because we can’t. We’re going forward because we have zero choice about the flight of “time’s arrow.” Every one of us is going forward whether we want to or not. So, we might as well look for the best way to get to wherever we’re going. Let the acupuncture do its thing. Buy time. And over the course of many years, we’ll eventually have worked out where we went to get where we are ― if that isn’t too Irish for you.