The June Report ... late

 

Here's the June Report coming in a week late ... the computer has been in the workshop. Verdict: malware, picked up from regions unknown. I don't go anywhere to get malware -- the only sites I download from are safe, even the "second tier" ones, like Polyhaven.com, Brushezy.com and VHV.rs -- I know, I checked. From those sites, I download things like HDRI images to use as environment lights for 3D renders, .ABR Photoshop brushes to paint with, and PNG files for combination into projects. Yes, they're free resources, but they're from kosher sites; so ... who knows what's safe these days? Bottom line, it cost me $99 to have the system back home, malware-free and reconfigured to be a) screamingly fast, and b) Win11 compatible...

For some reason, I've struggled this last month. My health isn't what it should be -- pain levels too high, energy levels too low. So I'm not getting the exercise I need, and am noticing that my fitness is slumping. But how do you walk those distances, up hill, on screaming feet and hips? It's getting more difficult as time goes by, and every day my body reminds me that I'm ploughing through my sixties. Not my forties or fifties, my sixties. The thought is enough to chill your blood. Ack. We solider on.

Soooo ... I get out when I can (which isn't nearly often enough; another downside to disability), and get all the walking I can (ditto), and I can only hope the body will improve naturally as spring comes in. This is the dead of winter, after all. The big hope I'd had was that the new camera would be really, really good, and give me the impetus to get out there, hike many miles, get the great photos ... well, it didn't happen. The Panasonic Lumix FZ-80 is something of a compromise camera. They loaded it with technology, but skimped on lens quality, and when it got to high-end technology, again, they shorted the unit. The sensor is too small; the processor is too wimpy; there aren't enough megapixels (they opted for 18MP, not 20.3, as in the TX-90); the lens elements are ... not Leica. And you can tell. Put the whole shebang together, and you get a $450 packet of "Hmmm" moments ... in other words, it's a good stopgap camera, to get me through a couple of years when I simply cannot afford something better. But my sights are set on a range of Nikons, and which I buy in 2024-ish, will be down to how, and even if, my writing is turning into a cash flow!

At the moment, writing isn't turning into cash, but I still have to hope. If you didn't hope, you'd drop the whole effort! I look at Mike and see how he's succeeding ... but I also look at the sheer volume of work he's investing in his career. And I realise how burned out I am. I got through Dark is The Valley, and I seem to have stalled. I don't seem to be able to find the resolve, energy or inspiration to write -- and writing doesn't just happen by itself. So ... art.

And the art is getting better than ever, bigger and more complex, better executed. Yes, of course I've thought about trying to turn art into a cash flow! But the competition there is just as fierce as in the field of writing and trying to sell stories -- the pay checks are about the same, but I doubt there are a tenth as many art (card?) publishers as there are indie magazine publishers, while there are more artists trying to get through the door with them. So yes, I've thought about trying to turn the art into cash, but how can I not be a realist about this? Hmmm.

So ... at the moment art is purely a hobby. It might become more, it might not -- and the same could be said of writing. Both of these hobbies tend to pivot on my state of health, which is a bit dodgy at the moment; and writing is the biggest challenge of all. I know I can do it ... but do I want to? That's the huge question right now. I suspect I'll feel better about it when the Analog issue is published, and my name appears in it. Has to happen sometime in the next six months or so, because the story was accepted on my birthday last year. I tell myself, "Hold on, things will soon look different." And I still trust myself -- more or less. 

...and so ends the June Report, about a week late!